Predicting the World Cup with the Soccer Power Index (SPI)

Predicting the World Cup with the Soccer Power Index (SPI) With the World Cup only a day away, all eyes are on Brazil. From tournament previews to the bookmakers’ odds, everyone is trying to figure out who will impress and who will fall flat on the...

Predicting the World Cup with the Soccer Power Index (SPI)

With the World Cup only a day away, all eyes are on Brazil. From tournament previews to the bookmakers’ odds, everyone is trying to figure out who will impress and who will fall flat on the grandest stage.

Fortunately for us, we’ve managed to procure the one thing that can definitively offer us the answers: The Soccer Power Index.

The Soccer Power Index was developed by ESPN and is a tool almost too powerful for the eyes and minds of men. It is the world’s first sporting precog. Its knowledge is earth-shattering, its power unmatched, its validity unquestionable.

The only question is: Can you handle it?

The Soccer Power Index is three feet tall and weighs 27 pounds (just over 12 kilos). It was being transported to Brazil from its birthplace in Bristol, Connecticut when we were able to make our move just outside of Bridgeport. We jostled it free from ESPN’s truck, scooped it up, and never looked back. After hours of decryption (nice try, Paul Carr), a number of trips to a local hardware store, and a regrettable number of human sacrifices, the SPI finally opened up to us, its captors, and told us everything. Our findings are below:

Odds France advances to the Round of 8: 64%

Odds Italy advances to the Round of 16: 32%

Odds Fuleco goes on strike: 78%

Odds at least one journalist goes “missing:" 50%

Odds Ross Barkley misses the bus to the Uruguay game: 64%

Odds any of the stadiums are actually finished: 0%

Odds your favorite sportswriter has seen more than 12 World Cup teams play: 35%

Odds Zlatan tries to sneak onto a team: Zlatan does not "sneak” onto teams

Odds that writer hyping Antoine Griezmann has actually seen him play: 25%

Odds you sit next to someone annoying at the bar for the opening match: 50%

Odds Brazilians recognize Adam Lallana: 0%

Odds pundits describe African teams as “powerful but disorganized:" 84%, with the percentage increasing based on the ‘Britishness’ of pundits

Odds Kyle Beckerman gets teargassed in a protest: 65%

Odds Cristiano Ronaldo’s shirt stays on: 0%

Odds you pull that Vuvuzela out of your closet: 70%

Odds you’re evicted for pulling that Vuvuzela out of your closet: 90%

Odds Italy wins matches played above 85 °F, with kick-off times before noon, against teams fielding a 3-5-2, on days where Cesare Prandelli eats quiche for breakfast: 62%

Odds Gary Neville makes a noise we’d prefer never to hear: 85%

Odds Landon Donovan cries during an ESPN broadcast: 43%

Odds Vicente del Bosque falls asleep on the beach and misses a match: 42%, depending on the number of caipirinhas chugged

Odds Bernard traveled to Brazil inside David Luiz’ suitcase: 82%

Odds you search Google for "Internet Witch Doctor” during the next month: 57%

Odds that 'World Cup Preview’ you’re reading is based on anything besides FIFA 14 player ratings: 12%

Odds the Soccer Power Index gets everything right: 0%