Honest Reactions from the 2014 World Cup Draw

Putting managers and footballers near journalists is always done with the best of intentions, but in an era where news moves through the cosmos at an unbelievable pace, players and coaches stick to a fairly predictable script when responding to any type of question from the press.

Thankfully, neither group ever manages to hold their poker face; with a bit of research and plenty of imagination, those mundane quotes reveal a deeper meaning. Let’s take a look at what players and coaches said in the aftermath of Friday’s World Cup Draw, and what they actually meant to say.

Spain coach Vicente del Bosque

What he said: “We can’t say we were handed an easy draw. It’s a complicated group with tough sides. It’s going to be difficult.”

What he meant: “We were handed an easy draw. Every draw is easy when you’re Spain. I am happy we could avoid Switzerland this time around, but let’s talk again before the semifinals.”

Greece captain Giorgos Karagounis

What he said: “I don’t care how people describe our game or whether our style will be more defensive or offensive. We will play to make the last 16 and will fight for it as much as we can - you can be sure about that.”

What he meant: “Historically speaking, we’re much better at the Olympics than this, but we’re going to have fun fighting. I mean, playing football.”

United States defender DaMarcus Beasley

What he said: “I think [Portugal] have a lot of weapons. I don’t think they’re a one-man show.”

What he meant: “We’ll have to use all our weapons. If we want any sort of result against Portugal, we’re going to have to poison Cristiano Ronaldo. Even then, he might score 6. It’s a tough ask.”

Germany manager Joachim Low

What he said: ”Jurgen and I have had a very good and close relationship for a long time. We have always exchanged ideas on a regular basis, but that will certainly change before the World Cup match.”

What he meant: “Jurgen hasn’t called me in four years! Four years! What happened?! Has he said anything?! TELL HIM I CAN CHANGE!”

England boss Roy Hodgson

What he said: ”There were not going to be many scenarios where we were going to be jumping for joy.”

What he meant: “Could any of you proofread my resumé?”

Nigeria boss Stephen Keshi

What he said: “We keep playing Argentina at the World Cup! We’ll see how it goes this time.”

What he meant: “Our check to FIFA did not clear as quickly as we thought.”

Germany’s Mesut Ozil

What he said: ”Hey, Cristiano, Pepe and Coentrao: I am happy to see you in Brazil.”

What he meant: “Remember how you all bullied me? GUESS WHO’S BACK?”

England’s Jack Wilshere

What he said: ”Tough group … but so what? If we want to win it we will have to play the best teams anyway!”

What he meant: “I need a cigarette.”

FIFA President Sepp Blatter

What he said: “I am sure at the end of the day that football will be the winner.”

What he meant: “I am sure at the end of the day that my bank account will be the winner.”

Mexico coach Miguel Herrera

What he said: “We have three hard opponents. We have to work hard to compete properly but we have to be realistic.”

What he meant: “I’m just happy to be here.”

Italy coach Cesare Prandelli

What he said: “The conditions (in Manaus) worry me because it’s not just about taking on these teams but how you do it.”

What he meant: “How is the wifi in Manaus?”

More from Italy coach Cesare Prandelli

What he said: “We don’t have to be angry because of the draw; we’re at the World Cup and must be happy”

What he meant: “We don’t have to be angry because the draw, but please excuse me while I kick a hole in this wall and find out if there’s wifi in Manuas

Netherlands striker Robin van Persie

What he said: “I love the fact that at the first opportunity we immediately get the chance to make amends. After that match we immediately know where we stand. ”

What he meant: “I love the fact that at the first opportunity we immediately get the chance to kick Xabi Alonso in the chest again.”

Australia coach Ange Postecoglou

What he said: ”We’re a young nation in football terms so it is our chance to make headlines.”

What he meant: “We’ve already booked our return flight.”

United States captain Clint Dempsey

What he said: “It’s a difficult group but we’re excited about playing the best teams. That’s what the World Cup is about.”

What he meant: “We would have been okay with Switzerland.”

FIFA Secretary General Jérôme Valcke

What he said: “That wasn’t so difficult after all! Thank you to the hundreds of people who made the #FinalDraw a success.”

What he meant: “How many draws do I have to go through before I get some freaking help around here?! Is it so hard to move a ninth ball from a pot of eight to an unmarked pot, then open the ball, then read the name, then put take another ball out of a correspondingly lettered pot, then read the position, then place the team accordingly in the group? You’re all worthless. I swear this is the last time I’m doing this.”

Honduras coach Luis Suarez

What he said: “Ecuador helped me develop my career, I owe them many things.”

What he meant: “I’m not the Luis Suarez you’re thinking of.”

These honest World Cup Draw opinions were discovered by Maxi Rodriguez, Zack Goldman and Eric Beard. Comments below please.

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    Yes ! Thats me when Germany makes a goal
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