Football Logic

By Oliver Sparrow

I was walking through St Albans town centre earlier today when I overheard a very funny exchange between a little girl and her Dad.

The girl was wearing her Chelsea shirt, and the Father was donning his Manchester United colours. (I personally think grown men wearing football shirts at any other occasion than going to/watching a game, or actually playing football is a bit weird, and don’t even get me started on having a player’s name emblazoned on the back…)

Anyhow, the conversation went something like this:

Girl: “Daddy, I want to go home now.”

Father: “Well we still have some things to do in town. And anyway, I’m the one wearing the Man United shirt.”

Girl: “Well I’m wearing my Chelsea shirt and I want to go home!”

Father: “Well Man United are the best, so you have to do what I say.”

Girl: “Then why are Chelsea winning, Daddy?”

[By this point I was out of earshot.]

I hate to think how the Dad will manage to persuade his daughter to do anything she doesn’t want to should Chelsea win the title. Perhaps the Dad actually supports Burnley, but switched allegiances once he started exploiting his daughter’s contorted logic. I wonder which club he’ll choose if Chelsea do win the Premier League. Maybe he’ll support them as well, and father and daughter will form a football bond in a wonderful disciplinarian utopia…I doubt it, though. She’ll probably start supporting a rugby team, instead.

I also thought the conversation fitted in quite well with the current political situation in the UK. The red of Labour clinging on to their title as leaders, trying to hold back the surge of tory blue and the seemingly inevitable downfall of their empire. I wonder if the guy will use The Premier League as a handy tip on how to use his vote in the upcoming general election. Considering the general level of ignorance and/or apathy in this country when it comes to political matters, it really wouldn’t surprise me.