Losses and llamas: a complicated week at Bayern Munich

By Max Grieve

Jupp Heynckes was, to a point, playing the fool, but there was a grim undertone to his comments. “I have watched and coached in the Spanish League,” he declared earlier in the week. “I know how hard it is to beat Barcelona. And now I’m left to wonder if Barça can’t beat Chelsea, how can we?”

Certainly Bayern Munich’s loss to Borussia Dortmund in the DFB-Pokal Final at the weekend has furthered the perception, in English-language media especially, that Chelsea could well trouble the Bavarians. And there is an element of truth to this thought: internal struggles, occasionally catastrophic defending, and a creeping sense of self-doubt is beginning to damage what has been, by most standards, a phenomenal season. Bayern have finished second in the Bundesliga to a side that had to break the points total record to better them. They came runners-up in the one domestic cup, and are in a Champions League final. Rather than marvel at the progress they have made, however, they will be more inclined to reflect upon their failings.

At the Olympiastadion in Berlin, Bayern, quite simply, didn’t look like Bayern. An early goal from Shinji Kagawa, on whom Sir Alex Ferguson’s eyes were firmly fixed, sparked an electric performance from Dortmund. They were stunning. Indeed, the entire spectacle was so. Schweinsteiger, Robben, Ribery, Gomez, Lahm, Neuer – each one was shaken by the result. Jurgen Klopp danced across towards the banks of yellow and black in the stands, whilst Jupp Heynckes scribbled on paper with his assistant. It was comprehensive, and gave life to the notion that Chelsea, who have frequently relied on good fortune and crossbars during Di Matteo’s time, could further compound Bavarian misery. Such as with much of Michael Ballack’s career, this season could end with Bayern playing the role of bridesmaid all too often.

There is a strong suggestion that there is only one side in Europe who have exerted a dominance over Bayern over the past few years; the same that they lost to both in the race for the Bundesliga, and the DFB-Pokal. They have tended to play at a high tempo when they have met, with neither coach particularly intent on playing the other’s game. 

Bayern’s style has relied heavily on their wide play, and it is unsurprising that 41 of their league goals have either been scored or assisted by Robben or Ribery. Against Dortmund, save for a brilliant goal from the Frenchman, both failed to influence the match as they have proven they can do on many occasions. The Bavarians’ game is based on possession, though they struggled to retain the ball when faced with suffocating pressure from their opponents. What now needs to be remembered is that Bayern Munich are not playing Borussia Dortmund on Saturday night. They are, of course, playing a completely different opponent in Chelsea.

Unlike Dortmund, Chelsea may not be so inclined as to approach the match with such glaring attacking intentions. Chelsea won’t press so intensely, and haven’t done since Andre Villas-Boas was fired, so will likely sit deep; inviting Bayern forward as they did with Barcelona. Mario Gomez is significantly more dangerous in the air than any of Barcelona’s forwards, however, so if Chelsea are to attack on the counter, they must attempt to stifle Bayern’s wide play to avoid the aerial threat that Gomez carries. It is a fascinating tactical encounter; and should be far less cut-and-thrust than the final of the DFB-Pokal should Chelsea hold to their strategy. Then there are the internal struggles: writes Rapahel Honigstein, “There is a danger that not-so-hidden rifts inside the dressing room might come to the fore again. The longer Chelsea can keep the score level, the more Bayern will be affected mentally.”

The stakes could not be higher: indeed, a loss at their home stadium could be more emotionally damaging than “that night in Barcelona” in 1999. One must be careful when taking recent domestic failures into account in predicting the outcome of this final, however. “I can’t see them making this many mistakes again,” said Jens Lehmann following the loss to Dortmund. “They’ll play with anger and even more determination next week. I’m rather optimistic about their chances.”

More important, naturally, is what a llama thinks. By pushing a blue football, rather than a red one, off a stick in his stable, Nicholas the llama has confirmed that Chelsea will be European champions – and who could question his judgment, having already correctly predicted the FA Cup final result?

Said owner Linda Johnson, “Llamas don’t do anything in a rush and Nicholas took about two minutes to decide. He had a think about it, and a wander round, and then he came up and pushed the blue ball off with his nose. Llamas are highly intelligent and very observant - he is much brighter than an octopus.”

Eight prophetic, slippery tentacles rolled in a watery grave. Bayern will be determined not to let this season end on a sour note and, until last week, many would have imagined that they were almost assured of victory come Saturday. The result in the DFB-Pokal has afforded Chelsea something of a respite in the media, and they will travel to Munich with a public believing that the seemingly impossible is now rather the opposite.

Positives are being drawn from their previous performance: “Perhaps a little bit of humilty is not a bad thing”, Uli Hoeness said. A 5-2 defeat in a cup final naturally puts a dampener on spirits, but there can be little doubt that Bayern will be the side with more to lose at the Allianz Arena.

Nicholas the llama was confident in his prediction. He chose Chelsea with emphatic self-asssurance. It wouldn’t be in the least bit surprising to learn that he has only watched Bayern in the DFB-Pokal, and nothing else. Others, who watched an incredible performance against Real Madrid, and a number of dominant displays in the Bundesliga, will know that judging Bayern by the scoreline in their last match is dangerous.

In the end, of course, it is a final, where most believe anything can happen. Perhaps a llama pushing a ball off a stick is as good an indicator of a winner as anything. Anything can conceivably happen. Bayern though, at this crucial point in their illustrious history, will be dogged in determining what does.