A Football Report

Arsenal’s top keepers, Manuel Almunia and Lukasz Fabianski, have come under quite a bit of scrutiny over the past few months for their inability to prove themselves as reliable Champions League-caliber players. I think the true problem is that the Gooners just miss Jens Lehmann’s shenanigans. The German (now at Stuttgart) would make all the same mistakes (whilst trying out new karate moves and tackling cameramen), but all of these mistakes would be overshadowed by ensuing hilarity.

Whether its Manuel or Lukasz in goal tonight for Arsene Wenger’s side, one of them better have the game of their life or develop an epic sense of humour… quickly.

Oh dear, oh dear. 11 professional footballers in Japan vs. 100 of the club’s academy boys. Bizarre, brilliant, and definitely something that could only be thought of by the minds of Japanese game-show producers! The best part is when the professionals have to try to defend 70-some-odd kids in the penalty area off of a corner. This is probably as close as we’ll ever come to a Spartan 300-esque equivalent in football, sadly.

While I have to say that the Adidas’ new away kit for Spain looks quite fresh, it turns out that:

1) There are people in Spain who don’t know who Xabi Alonso and David Villa are

and

2) The economy in Spain is so bad that some of the best players in the world cannot even sell the shirt that they’ll be wearing. Times are tough people, times are tough.

Nevertheless, the shirt is class. If I find myself with a little extra in the bank due to some World Cup Betting, then you’ll probably see me with a long-sleeve Iniesta jersey. By the way, if you didn’t see how Spain embarrassed France at the Stade de France last night courtesy of swag-filled strikes from David Villa and Sergio Ramos, the highlights of the World Cup favourites (in their new navy kits) are embedded after the jump.

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I didn’t think so. Filled with masterful Messi, ingenious Iniesta, ballin’ Balotelli, and even dank Donovan.

Which do you prefer: Matias Fernandez’s South American swagger, a proper Sunday League volley, or amazing Japanese technique?

[Matias’ wondergoal found by our friends at In the Stands]

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Arsenal are celebrating 25 years of work in the Community, and we FINALLY get the chance to see what Andrei Arshavin, Emmanuel Eboue, and Nicky Bendtner would have been like if they were ballers back in the 80s. Yes I know, it’s a miracle! Now go enjoy your Friday knowing that there are people out there trying to make your day. [Found at Arseblog]

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Props go to Adrian Grenier (aka Vinny Chase), as his new entourage of Brazilian legend Zico, Portuguese phenomenon Eusébio, and the Dutch Edgar Davids is filled with a little too much class. The Entourage star was in NYC to get his chance to catch the Champions League trophy while it is on tour around the world, and obviously to hang out with an assortment of the best players ever. [Don’t worry, highlights of the members of this “new Entourage”  are embedded after the jump]

I love Turtle, E, and Johnny Drama, but I mean come on… Edgar Davids alone has more game than those three combined.

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Even though Real Madrid put on a show against Villarreal with a 6-2 victory at the Bernabeu, it seems that there were 11 great individuals playing together, rather than a team. Already up 5-2, a penalty was awarded to the home side, sparking an uncomfortable dialogue between Cristiano Ronaldo, who had already scored a goal, and Xabi Alonso. The brief conversation, is translated below (courtesy of Spanish Football & Sports).

Xabi Alonso: “Cris, leave it to me”
Xabi Alonso: “I haven’t scored a goal yet”
Xabi Alonso: “Allow me to put one in”
Xabi Alonso: “Come on”
C.Ronaldo: “The next one, I promise”
Xabi Alonso: “No, give me this one”
C.Ronaldo: “No, this one is mine”
Xabi Alonso: “Come on, give me the ball”

Meanwhile the crowd wants Raul to take it, as the 80,000+ shout “Raul, Raul, Raul”. Ronaldo finally gives in to Alonso’s requests, and the Spaniard converts to make it 6-2, which doesn’t affect the game at all.

What are you thoughts on this? Is this just normal banter between two world-class footballers or is it more than that (greed comes into mind)?

Slick. Probably the most legitimate look-a-like we’ll ever find. Wait, which one is Xabi? Ahhhh, I can’t tell anymore….

I don’t think you need my help in coming up with a cheeky comment for this one. But feel free to share them below!

While I’ll always be happy watching Steven Gerrard’s screamers from 35-yards out, the truth is that a world-class player is defined by his (or her) touch and composure on the ball. If you don’t understand where I’m coming from, just watch the beautiful video embedded above. Without mastering a good touch, even the most talented player’s weakness can be taken advantage of easily. Anyway, that’s just my opinion. What do you think are the most important attributes that a player needs to have to truly be a class act?