A Football Report

Posted by Eric Beard.  The interwebs are dangerous, but don’t worry, here’s the best of the beautiful game that I found this week.

Spain’s legendary announcer Camacho celebrating with uncontrollably passionate gestures [Dirty Tackle]

Emotion no substitute for clear thinking: Tim Vickery’s brilliant analysis on why Dunga and Maradona failed. [BBC]

Cristiano’s accidental son is American. Can we get him ready for 2022? [Who Ate All the Pies]

Are the Oranje favourites? Don’t act so surprised! [Yanks Are Coming]

Bandwagon World Cup fans are fine, until they start questioning the beautiful game’s legitimacy. [TwoFootedTackle]

Arne Friedrich scored his first goal for Germany in the World Cup, and now he’s on his way to Wolfsburg. [In the Stands]

Is AC Milan about to say hello to Il Deuce? [The Shin Guardian]

South Africa is showing us a new generation of legends [The Soccer Guys]

Dunga’s resignation letter [Fútbolita]

Does Roy Hodgson have his eyes set on Ashley Young? [Football Corner]

Posted by Eric Beard

V For Vuvuzela [via Never Captain Nicky Butt]

US Soccer: Thy Kingdom Come [Yanks Are Coming]

Landon Donovan’s World Cup Adventure of Epic Broportions [Dirty Tackle]

What do we mean when we say a referee’s decision is harsh? [Run of Play]

The Minnows are eating the Sharks [Pitch Invasion]

World Cup Day 13: England set to tackle the Germans once again [Football Corner]

Twitter was shut down, but it’s okay, cause Landon Donovan is the boss. [World Cup Tumblr]

The best vuvuzela gallery ever. [Who Ate All The Pies]

Acting without any thought what so ever are we John Terry? That’s despicable brave. [Off the Post]

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Posted By Eric Beard

Let’s start off this week with a Lego version of England-USA. Classy stuff from The Guardian. Alright then, let’s look at the best footy coverage from the interwebs.

I love the World Cup, but I hate hearing people who know nothing about the game talk about it. [Off the Post]

Spain’s incredible loss to Switzerland in pictures [Who Ate All The Pies]

All the Robert Green jokes you can imagine. Steven Gerrard said: “The whole team is behind Rob Green.” With hindsight, that’s a good place to stand. [Never Captain Nicky Butt]

Don’t we all love these vuvuzelas? [In the Stands]

Why Fabregas is worth more than the £38m Barcelona are going to offer Arsenal [Football Corner]

Ever wonder what it’s like to train with El Diego? Well… here you are. [Dirty Tackle]

So it’s that time of the year. No, not World Cup time. Well yes… But it’s also time for everything pertaining to the bizarre world of football transfers. AFR has you covered with transfers as we have just launched AFR transfers, which will supply you with a healthy serving of all the daily updates and rumours from the somewhat morally lacking aspect of football that we all know and love. And by “healthy serving”, I mean we’ll filter the ridiculous out (unless we label it “ridiculous”) and you’ll only hear about what is actually going to happen. Pragmatism, after all, is a virtue when it comes to transfers. But we do have a comprehensive list of summer transfers for you to keep track of!

Okay, so moving on. Here’s the best of what we’ve found lying around the web this week.

A pitch invader in an AC Milan - DC United friendly had quite the intimate moment with Ronaldinho. Then he had a few longer moments of getting merked. [Dirty Tackle]

Wayne Rooney has something special up his sleeve for a goal celebration. [Off the Post]

Who will be the next manager at Anfield? Martin O’Neill? [In the Stands]

World Cup Fantasy vs. Reality “Favourites” Edition [Never Captain Nicky Butt]

Mexico’s (somewhat controversial) final roster. The Dos Santos family was not very happy about their little Jonathan being cut. [Fútbolita]

How nervous are US fans for the World Cup? Well, Jozy Altidore’s mild ankle sprain caused panic everywhere. [Yanks Are Coming]

Joe Cole to Arsenal on a free transfer? He’ll be almost as popular at Stamford Bridge as William Gallas! [Who Ate All the Pies]

Become a fan of A Football Report! Join in on the ridiculous banter! [Facebook]

The internet is a dangerous place, so here’s the best of footy we found from the past few days. Let’s start with this cute video of Mourinho re-enacting a romantic movie.

Jose Mourinho just doesn’t want to let go of Marco Materazzi. [Who Ate All the Pies]

Peter Crouch is no longer the tallest man in the Premier League, Birmingham City’s Nikola Zigic is. [Football Corner]

Wait… what? Guardiola has already spent 185 million euros with Barça? [In the Stands]

Angel Di Maria is Argentina’s #7, Higuain is #9, Messi is obviously #10, and more! [Fútbolita]

“If we win the World Cup, I’ll get naked and run around the Obelisk.” - Maradona. I was rooting for Argentina, but now… [Dirty Tackle]

Going to South Africa? Watch out for the Rift Valley Fever Virus! [World Cup South Africa Blog]

It’s that time again. The European season is all but over. And the rumours have begun. We’ll try to sort out the stupidity brought on by the likes of The Sun and The Daily Mail to tell you about things that could feasibly happen. But we’ll also have a bit of fun mocking the Mail’s definition of a “credible source”. Anyway, here are our favourite links this week!

A news station in Chicago thought South America was South Africa, but hey, at least they’re both outside of the United States! Right? [Dirty Tackle]

Time for Stevie G to hit the road? Our friend Cathal says he would do just fine with Jose. [Football Corner]

Want the list of all 32 provisional World Cup rosters? Well, here you are. [Never Captain Nicky Butt]

Barcelona vice president Rafael Yuste has revealed that the club are in talks with Valencia over a €40 million move for their star striker David Villa, and that negotiations for the Spanish star are ‘on track’. [Who Ate All the Pies]

What does a Michael Ballack-less Germany mean for Deutchland? [Yanks Are Coming]

Thierry Henry looks set to become a Red Bull. And yes, that would be an awesome name for a Spanish club based out of Madrid. But sadly it isn’t. [Sports Illustrated]

Pitch invasions are awesome, aren’t they? Sadly this dad won’t let his son in a wheelchair join in on the fun… This, my friends, is how to fail as a dad. [skip to 1:50]

Capello called in 30 to the England camp, but here are the best XI definitely not going to South Africa [Who Ate All the Pies]

What Mourinho said to Guardiola after THAT sending off… [Spanish Football Sports]

Steven Gerrard loves a proper smack, doesn’t he? Here he has a go at a teenage Hull fan. [In the Stands]

The Girl from Ipanema (NASA Remix)  [Escucharemos]

40,000 Atlético fans celebrating in Neptuno Square. A decent crowd. [Dirty Tackle]

And give a grand welcome to Amit Katwala, a talented England-based writer who will be focusing on what is happening with Dutch & English football! Dutch football, you question? Why yes! Amit used to live in Holland, so he has quite a bit of knowledge of the Dutch game. He has been passionate about football for as long as he can remember. Amit is good friends with fellow AFR writer Oliver Sparrow. Amit supports Manchester United, and the mighty AFC Bournemouth, and he gets to as many games as he can (obviously more Bournemouth than United ones). By the way, Bournemouth are the visiting side in the video above. But I digress… Anyway, say “welkom” to Amit!

It’s a strange feeling. I am only now coming to terms with the fact the Fernando Torres’ locks and Stevie G’s scouse-ness won’t be in Europe, but the fight for fourth place has finally ended in dramatic fashion. Tottenham defeated Manchester City 1-0 in an epic cup final-esque atmosphere at the City of Manchester Stadium, and Mr. Peter Crouch scored the £60m goal for Spurs. I, for one, think that he just earned his ticket to the World Cup. Crouch said, “For a club like us to break into the top four is a fantastic achievement - it’s probably one of the best nights I’ve been part of.”  Anyway, here’s a bit of shenanigans from recent football happenings.

Listen: Peter Crouch loves nachos, and I’m sure he had some before the match. After all, it was Cinco de Mayo! [Never Captain Nicky Butt]

Even in defeat, Roberto Mancini pledges to stay on with City [Football FanCast]

Now that Spurs are part of Europe’s elite competition, who will ‘arry add in the summer? [Football Corner]

Spurs surprise ‘arry in Sky Sports’ post-match interview by dumping him in water. But more importantly, David Bentley turned into a five-year-old! [Dirty Tackle]

England are apparently scared of taking penalties… Speak for yourself Frank! [ESPN]

Speaking of Frank Lampard, here’s a nice profile of the England man [Yanks Are Coming]

Oh, Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat-trick, his first for Real Madrid. Lionel Messi says, “Nice job Ronaldo, but come on? It has taken you this long to get a hat-trick?” (Real Madrid v. Mallorca & Manchester City v. Tottenham Highlights are below)

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We (incredibly) found out today that despite both English sides winning 2-1 in the Europa League, it will be Fulham vs. Atletico Madrid in the final, since Liverpool was knocked out due to Diego Forlan’s away goal at Anfield. And of course the Europa League’s big brother will have its final between Inter & Bayern, but you knew that already. Anyway, maybe it is because everyone around me is going insane from footy and final exams, but I’ve come across quite a bit of footy-related humour this week. Here’s the best of what I found.

Our very own contributor Oliver Sparrow created a brilliant video of Maradona’s amazing goal vs. England in ‘86. It’s part of a humourous competition sponsored by Sony, and if enough people watch it he’ll be going to South Africa to support his Three Lions. Watch it 100 times here!

Learn to speak Scouse with Dirk Kuyt [Who Ate All The Pies]

An awfully incriminating GIF of Sergio Busquets. Faking an injury are we? [Off the Post]

Going back to that brilliant Brazil vs. Portugal advert [In the Stands]

The absurdly American idea of having a draft in football [Yanks Are Coming]

And Didier Drogba has been named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by TIME Magazine (seriously). [Dirty Tackle]

Leandro Gracian of Argentina’s Independiente scoring this cracker in their 3-1 away victory against Banfield. The celebration is worthy of the goal. [In the Stands]

Bassnectar - ‘Magical World feat. Nelly Furtado’  [via Escucharemos]

Liverpool squad boards train for journey to Madrid [Who Ate All the Pies]

Steven Pienaar to Liverpool? [Football Corner]

World Cup Ticketing: Shame on FIFA [Never Captain Nicky Butt]

David Beckham has a pint at the Los Angeles Lakers’ playoff game [Fútbolita]

Pictures & Champions League Highlights after the jump.

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Andres Palop’s push to get into Spain’s gymnastics squad fell flat on its face this weekend. [via Off the Post]

Should Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard leave Liverpool this summer? [Football Corner]

James Milner is “exceptionally lucky to have his career intact” after a “horrendous challenge” by Chelsea captain John Terry [In the Stands]

FC Barcelona, or Orwell United? [Yanks Are Coming]

Japanese Player Jun Suzuki Scores Directly from Corner Kick [Who Ate All The Pies]

Marco Boriello shows that he can fist pump like a champion (picture below) [Fútbolita]

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Probably the best bit of football marketing you’ll ever see. I’m not exaggerating at all, this is brilliant stuff. Organizing a fake classical music concert at the same time as the AC Milan v. Real Madrid match? This is what dreams are made of.

Something on your footy-filled mind? Go on and ask us a question! We’re happy to give our thoughts on yours! And while you’re at it, we’d love it if you could recommend us (if you don’t mind!)

Terrible at your job? Do what Gianfranco Zola does and go on holiday! [NCNB]

James Collins issued a Twitter apology to Aston Villa fans for his part in the humiliating 7-1 defeat to Chelsea. [Off the Post]

Right, Iniesta’s out! So can Arsenal now beat Barça? [The Spoiler]

Catch another history lesson by looking back on the 1958 World Cup. [Yanks Are Coming]