A Football Report

By Eric Beard

Doesn’t vehement hatred get kind of boring after a while? I mean, sure, if you want to let a little schadenfreude and anger out a couple of times a year, that’s fine. Everyone’s entitled to their fair share of irrational fandom. Maybe I’m not as creative as the Spanish press and [insert name of your Superclub]’s fans, but hatred gets kind of circular after a while. Millions and millions of fans watched the superb match at the Camp Nou on Wednesday night, where violence and drama were plentiful. They saw Messi assist and Ronaldo score. They saw a comeback that arguably could have overshadowed Liverpool’s triumph in Istanbul. The match, in itself, was fantastic, but the shoving, pushing, accusing, and general unabashed conduct that has become the status quo took over as the final whistle approached.

Unprofessionalism can be as equally entertaining as it is surprising, don’t get me wrong. But only if it’s unexpected (and relatively non-violent). I remember seeing an MLS playoff game in 2007 between the New England Revolution and the Chicago Fire. Michael Parkhurst of New England had been presented two awards before the match: the MLS Defender of the Year award and the Fair Play award. Within 20 minutes of kickoff, Parkhurst gave away a freekick, which prompted an inordinately audible Cee-Lo Green-esque “eff you!” for everyone in the stands to feast their ears upon. It was appalling, yet also hilarious given Parkhurst might as well have been the league’s Dalai Lama. When is the last time you heard say, “that Pepe, he’s amusing isn’t he?” When expected, unprofessionalism is quite simply as boring as it is disgusting.

With Spaniards consuming a half dozen Clásicos every year, stories elsewhere are welcome, yet difficult to be granted attention by the Spanish media. Two unexpected figures have been uniting Spanish fans, one though genius and one through sheer spirit. The first is Marcelo Bielsa, the manager of Athletic Bilbao, who has done remarkably well in his first season with the Basque club. Bielsa has earned the full support of Athletic fans, managing to get results through an enjoyable style of play. The second is a Spanish club based in Spain’s Segunda División B, Group 2 named CD Mirandés, who have managed to somehow transcend the boundaries of what is imaginable for a club that can only seat 6,000 in its stadium. Indeed, Mirandés did the ineffable by progressing into the Copa del Rey semifinals courtesy of an injury-time winner from Pablo Infante, Mirandés’ midfielder-turned-Spanish hero. 

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Interview with artist Craig Coulthard, the mind behind Forest Pitch, an event that will be part of the London 2012 Festival and Cultural Olympiad. Conducted by Eric Beard.

Succinct Briefing About Forest Pitch: A full size football pitch hidden deep within a commercial forest in the Scottish Borders. Trees that have been felled to make space for the pitch are being used to create goalposts, a shelter and other infrastructure on site, and the pitch is being made using recycled top soil from a local football ground. The heart of Forest Pitch is a day of sporting and cultural events that encapsulates the spirit of the modern Olympic movement. On the 21st of July, two amateur football matches (one between male teams and one between female teams) will be played on the pitch, complemented by a range of performances by local groups.

Spectators will be members of local communities and schools, the players’ families, and people involved in producing the event. A significant number of tickets will be made available to the general public. After the matches, the shelter will remain, the site will grow naturally, with some native planting introduced, and it will be publicly accessible for up to 60 years.

Now, on to the interview with Mr. Craig Coulthard…

Eric Beard: First of all, I have to ask where on earth did this idea come from?

Craig Coulthard: I guess like a lot of ideas, Forest Pitch was gradually revealed to me as different things I was interested in, and had experienced came together at the right time. The main roots of the idea spring from my childhood experience of playing football for a local team in what was then West Germany, deep in the middle of a wood, with a small changing room and a chapel nearby. Later, I played football at Cathkin Park in Glasgow, which was once Third Lanark’s ground. Now, as when I played there, the ground has large tall trees growing straight from the terracing. When I was 15 playing there, it was quite dream like and disconcerting. Later still, I had been travelling by plane from London to Edinburgh, and flew over the Borders. I was looking down at all the forestry, with its small tracks seemingly leading nowhere, and I was struck by how exciting it would be to come across a football pitch there, either walking to it, or seeing it from the sky.

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Compiled by Eric Beard

Let’s go with a classic scenario. What if you spent the last 12 months fighting for your life on an island after a shipwreck? How would you acclimate back into society? Well, you would probably want to catch up on what you missed. If you’re a fan of football and love reading about the game, then you would want to read the best pieces from 2011. That’s the idea behind “The Best of Football Writing in 2011” list. We were all figuratively shipwrecked for a few weeks this year. Whether it was work, a personal issue, an addition to your family, or a horrible set of final examinations, life left us isolated from football. But not to worry, now you can catch up.

Compiling a list of everything you’ve enjoyed in a year is an arduously joyful experience. If there’s anything to say about joys and woes of independent football writing, it’s that the feelings (as well as the content) come and go. You don’t set a blog post up on your bookshelf when you’re done reading. No, it goes back into the infinite abyss of the internet. But a year is a long time, and we’re proud to share The Best of Football Writing in 2011 from fellow bloggers and writers alongside The Best of AFR in 2011. Intelligence on the web is plentiful, and even though internet writing inherently places a date next to every piece, we hoped to handpick articles that are relatively timeless in their nature. For the sake of simplicity, the Best of Football Writing in 2011 (from outside the confines of AFR) is featured first, followed by AFR’s Best of 2011. Without further ado, let’s review. And here’s to 2012…

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By Eric Beard

“Pelé doesn’t know sh*t.”

That was Sid Lowe’s response to James Richardson’s teasing statement on The Guardian’s Football Weekly Podcast. Richardson, of course, was referencing Pelé’s opinion that Neymar is better than Lionel Messi. With Pelé getting up there in age, Sid might be on to something. But that’s neither here nor there. The fact is that Neymar couldn’t do sh*t to stop Barcelona from winning the Club World Cup.

Player comparisons are far too often full of intangibles that draw upon the weak base of power that language possesses. Language is expected to casually unveil a dramatic truth when poetically expressed. However, according to Pep Guardiola, “there are no adjectives” to describe Messi. Language is sh*t next to Messi.Words are sh*t, next to a 24-year-old from Rosario. He is “extraordinary” in dozens of matches every year, and yet his brilliance is invariably unique from one match to another. But if you describe dribbling nine players and chipping the keeper with the same superlative as a hat-trick at the Bernabeu, you need not fear the wrath of Señor Guardiola.

Rather, Pep should understand the deficiencies of human linguistics. But this is not about Messi. It’s not about Neymar, either. The question we’re faced with is the power of an individual, even a phenomenon. Before we go any further, let’s recognize that “phenomenon” is a word football fans can comprehend and associate with Neymar and Messi. But let’s also recognize that it’s a word that doesn’t mean sh*t in defining Neymar or Messi. The subjectivity of definition is clouded by the illusion, the false formation of a collective consciousness. If this were the case, if we could adequately identify the essence of brilliance of another through millions of opinions, then we would not be left speechless listening to Messi being described as a “wonderful salmon [rising] out of the stream.”

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Founded in 2006 by Tom Dunmore, Pitch Invasion remains the cream of the crop of independent football writing on the internet. It has been packed to the brim with quality for five years, which is precisely why a “Very Best of Pitch Invasion” book was compiled by Mr. Dunmore. As an Englishman from Brighton who moved to Chicago to get his PhD at the University of Chicago, Tom has since taken to MLS and even became the chairman of Section 8, the supporters group of the Chicago Fire. The Pitch Invasion book can be ordered in hardcover or downloaded here and you can follow Tom Dunmore on Twitter @PitchInvasion.

In this podcast, we talked with Tom about everything from ultras vs fan-friendly supporters, the history of American soccer, indoor soccer and futsal, the future of MLS, the Montreal Impact and Portland Timbers, the game’s role and limits in relation to culture and politics, and the horrible trend of depression in football.

Remember, you can follow us on twitter at or contact us via email. We would love to hear your thoughts. We’re still in the process of setting up a new iTunes feed, but until then you can access our podcast on iTunes here. Also, be sure to check out our sponsor 3nil and use ‘AFR’ as a code to receive a discount on your order.

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Oliver Sparrow and Eric Beard had the pleasure of spending an hour with esteemed author and journalist Jonathan Wilson on the AFR Podcast. Jonathan writes for The Guardian, The Independent, Sports Illustrated, World Soccer, and FourFourTwo. He is also the editor of a quarterly publication called The Blizzard, which is filled with content from some of the biggest names in football journalism. The idea behind The Blizzard - available to download online or order as a hard copy - is to allow journalists to tell stories that they normally wouldn’t be able to have published in a paper.

Beyond The Blizzard, we talk with Jonathan about his new biography on Brian Clough entitled “Nobody Ever Says Thank You” and we also touch on the pros and cons of Financial Fair Play. We couldn’t let Mr. Wilson go without some tactics talk, so we pressed him on everything from the most talented manager in South America to Frank Lampard’s role at Chelsea.

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By Eric Beard

Say what you will about Playoffs, but the road to the 2011 MLS Cup has created insurmountable drama. From Rafa Marquez starting a fight after LA won in New York to the Seattle Sounders nearly coming back from a 3-nil deficit, the Playoffs have ensured a level of entertainment any fan can embrace. The Los Angeles Galaxy and the Houston Dynamo face off in the MLS Cup Final on November 20th (it’s actually kicking off on the 21st at 2am UK Time), but until then we’re provided with a little grace period to reflect on the past season.

A great American pastime is reflecting through award ceremonies, or “TROPHIES! FOR YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU!” as our friend Miriti (@NutmegRadio) put it. Yesterday, the “2011 Major League Soccer Awards” were released, so it’s time to let my opinion be heard loud and clear. Picks are in bold.

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