Wednesday’s Words of the Messiah

Hey guys, I know for a fact that today will be a great day. After all, it is the 10th, the day that honours the number of yours truly. Pep, still telling us to play without completely embarrassing the fools crazy enough to come in our house, thought we should give Getafe a little bit of a handicap, which was why Pique got a red card and walked off the pitch without looking back, like a boss. The thing is… your boy missed the pregame memo. I may or may not have scored right after I heard the whistle blow for kickoff, so I want to have the opportunity to apologize to everyone on my team, and also to Jordi Codina (that’s right Jordi, you’re big enough now to finally not be known as another scrub on Getafe! Congrats!). But in all seriousness, I promise not to unleash the one man plan that early again. It was an honest mistake.

Also, some of you guys may have been hearing Ramon “I like to moan” Calderon saying that little Cristi “rejected” Barcelona to play with the kids in Madrid. Jajaja! Ok ok ok, wait… Cristi… you think you rejected us? That’s not how I remember it. Do you really want me to share what really happened? Remember all that time you spent in the summer trying to convince Pep that you could play anywhere because you knew you weren’t going to take my saintly spot on the wing? Oh wait… that was the Champions League final! You have to remember when Puyol made you cry for an hour straight after you begged him to stop shredding you to pieces. Jajaja! People just don’t forget stuff like that. Cristi, I’m not going to allow that jive to leave the Bernabeu again.

….. Right! So it’s the 10th, and it’s that time to recognize those who threw it down like you live in boomtown (shout out to Andrés for producing Barçelonistas by the thousands)!

Alright, so I realized that the most stylish this to do in England month is to merk Arsenal. Last week Rooney did work, this year it was my boy Didier Drogbeeesh. Didier, you’re no longer the ‘disgraceful’ Drogba in my book, your swag was almost enough for us all to forget how bad of a wingman your captain is.

Minor props go to Robinho for bringing a small gathering of swag to Santos. Then again, it’s only Brazil.

But Robin-ho, don’t you realize that you’re only on loan. If I’m going to give props to those who aren’t even wanted by their clubs, then I have to give kudos to Jozy Altidore, who helped own Manchester City (yes Robinho, your team). Now Jozy may not be wanted in Spain, but the kid has style. A far more substantial amount of props goes to you for your baller celebration that acknowledged your Haitian heritage.

That reminds me, if you haven’t dropped bills for those who need it in Haiti already, DO IT NOW!

Anyway, I think recognizing charity is a good way to end this week’s post. Hope you guys continue to enjoy this special day, and because we’re heading to Germany for the Champions League in two weeks, I’m about to send everyone in Stuttgart a tape of a certain little feat my Barça bros accomplished last year.

Much love until next week,