Brace Yourselves for Wembley Waterloo!

By Oliver Sparrow and Ulysse Pasquier, writing from London and Montreal

Join Oli & Ulysse as they foretell of a Wellington versus Napoleon-esque encounter between the two old foes of England & France at Wembley tomorrow evening (8pm GMT)

“Friends, football fans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Blanc.

I address you at a time of great peril for our nation, for our Gallic foes from across the Channel have signalled an attack on our fine fortress of Wembley, and their arrival is imminent. This is a call to arms, a plea to the great and strong of these lands to make your way to northwest London and help repel these foul assailants.

For those who fear not our French foes after their ill-fated and audacious attempt to plunder the galleon of Rimet on the shores of the South African Cape, take heed. At their helm now is a man whose subjects dare not defy. Rather, they admire and respect him. He is a leader of men, one who was once befit to grace Laird Ferguson’s red army of Manchester.

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